"OK, girls," Coach Carrick shouted, "we're getting somewhere. Smithton, don't get cocky. You got better, then you started losing focus. Redton, visualize tonight and tomorrow. You know what you want to do; now you need to loosen up and actually do it. James, you visualize too. Maybe visualize doing it in uniform, if that helps. Orkney, you were doing fine, what happened today?"Go hit the showers, and we'll do this again Friday."There were some groans, but then she added, "And if I see any improvement Friday, any at all, we'll run a couple of plays. Now GO!"We floated in that direction, but the coach intercepted me before I got there."Boys' locker room for you, James." Sorry," I told her, "I forgot."As I corrected my flight path and drifted into the boys' locker room, I realized that I had forgotten. Not just to use the boys' facilities; I'd forgotten that I was naked! I just now got it that when Coach had said "visualize doing it in uniform," that was because of my nudity. I looked. > What wasgoing through your head the first time your mumsboyfriend said, "Ok, get naked I'm going to whip you for that"? Confused.? Butshe had told him to, so it wasn't his fault, at least not in my mind.? I was pretty young the first time, and henever hit me very hard at all, almost like he was going through the motionsbecause she had told him to.? What hesaid was "All right young lady, now take off all your clothes", justlike that.? But after the first few timeswe both knew what I was to do and he didn't have to say anything at all.? In fact, after maybe the first year, thewhole thing always happened without either of us saying anything at all, likesome kind of ritual.? He never showedany sympathy or compassion for me, but I didn't perceive that he was beingturned on by it, at least not then.? Butreplaying those memory tapes in my mind now, I can see that after my puberty,he liked doing it.? I? can tell by the rapidity and intensitywith which he whipped me that his heart WAS in.
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